Engineering Jokes
Here is a collection of the (mostly) engineering related jokes that have been heard on the Beers with Engineers podcast. Click on the name to go to the podcast where it was heard. Not all guests are here because some duplicated jokes or did not have one.
After reading the jokes, be sure to check out the t-shirts and sweatshirts!
From Joe Paraschac
How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one. They are very efficient but not very funny.
From Jay Julian
Just because it is a rock, don't take it for granite; you might not know schist about a stone.
From Nate Rollins
A mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip. The mathematician is carrying a high powered rifle with a scope and a tripod. It's a sniper's rifle and they're going through the brush. The engineer has the binoculars and he sees an elk, and it's probably three quarters of a mile away, but the rifle that they're using to hunt is very capable of that range.
So they agree to set up the rifle on the ridge where they have a view of this elk. Then they set up the scope and take a look. The mathematician says, "I got this. I got this. Let me take the first shot
since I had to carry the rifle." Everyone agrees, so he takes out a pad and paper. He does a range finding, calculates the triangulation, sets the rifle up and takes a shot.
The engineer is looking through the binoculars and he says, "you hit the ground about 50 yards beyond the elk." The engineer says, "gimme a try. Let me try this." So, he gets out his pad of paper. He does his calculations, sets up the shot, and he pulls a trigger.
The mathematician is looking through the binoculars and he says, "ah, you were 50 yards too short."
The statistician says, "it seems like we hit him."